There's nothing like late night blogging.
I've been angry. Angry. Like bugging me angry. The thought of it makes me so angry I wanna tear my hair off. I've tried to control it. And I have succeeded many times. Sometimes I haven't.
Classic situation. You and an acquaintant or friend are out to get the same thing, perhaps the same grades, same dress, same job or same guy. Somehow you feel really confident of getting it, you've really gone out there and done your best and you feel that somehow the luck must be on your side. When the day comes, you find out you haven't got it and not devastating enough your acquaintant or friend gets it. The cherry on the top!
Things like this shouldn't bother people. It's wasting bad energy on something so futile and silly. But still it does, doesn't it? WHY does it make me so angry and annoyed just the thought of it, day after day after day? It's like a wound which never heals and I keep scratching and scratching. I have been trying to control my anger and trying to stop thinking about it somehow. It's frustrating, it's like manipulation. I always make myself stop thinking bad things about that person it's really not fair, I'm only doing it because I didn't get it. Even if I have tried and tried getting similar things before and never gotten it, it's not that person's fault. It must simply be my own fault, I didn't try hard enough. And you can not count on hope and expectations, it will only make you fall even harder.
I keep telling myself that one day, one day, I will get my reward. Someday I will be the one that gets it and not someone else. S O M E D A Y . . .
Pieni pohjoismainen hintavertailu
5 months ago
5 comments:
Everyone are like that and I think everyone have sometime felt the same way.
I used to think like that, but then I somehow entered this "sorglösa" state of mind life. It's like: "Oh well, not this time and I'll get it next time." Just keep thinking forwards instead of backwards. Thinking about the past only make you miserable, while thinking about hopes for the future only make you curious in a good way :)
Never give up!
Vad har nu hänt?
I think that when you do get it instead of someone else, you don't think about it, cause I think you (Tiffany) have gotten it sometimes. It's the times when you loose that you really notice.
re Elin: Yes, I need to learn how to be in the sorglösa state. I've tried so hard expecially this time to think that I'll get it the next time. But ya'll have to know its not easy! XD
re Carro: Tja en mindre trevlig grejj. :P
re Kajsa: I must agree you gave me somthing to think about. It's kinda flattering though that you're so sure that I've gotten it sometimes. I'm not sure what kind things you are talking about but yeah I guess I've gotten it sometimes. But the thing my entry actually is about I've never gotten.
...som du får berätta nån gång!
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