Court bonding

Going to court this Monday really made me think about why people commit crime.

It was my first time at court, ever, and I went there with my Media Law and Ethics class to practice court reporting (I know, fancy stuff). We had a short briefing about the court system by the Clark (and his assistant-person who was completely powerpoint illiterate). He went on and on about how drug offences were the most common crime among youngsters and other sorts of crime he had judged.

Of course it's horrible that 10 to 17 year olds shoplifts stuff at Marks & Spencer's and sell them to buy drugs, but that's just another story for me.

The first trial we went into was in the end of some guy's sentence. He was this typical, large, shaved, sweatpants kind of guy, you know. After he was done, this girl comes into the defendant's stand. She was about my age and well dressed. When the Judge (person) asked her to stand up and state her full name, her voice was trembling. She was crying.

It took a while before we realized what crime she had actually commited (because they were hearing a breach in bail condition, sry I speak law not). She was earlier found guilty of taking a car without consent (almost stealing a car).

I kept wondering to myself "why did she steal a car?". What was going on in her head at that moment? For a moment I could imagine her and 2 of her friends giggling while she took the car. All excited and didn't think she'd get caught. That's totally imaginable, almost usual.

But in court there's a whole different story. The Judge (person) sitting behind his high desk, the lawyers, the security guards, the papers... all of it is not a joke. They are serious about punishing you for whatever you've done.

It's all scary stuff.

Sincerely,
Tiffany

No one laughs at God in a war

No one laughs at God
When their airplane start to uncontrollably shake
No one’s laughing at God
When they see the one they love, hand in hand with someone else
And they hope that they’re mistaken

No one laughs at God
When the cops knock on their door
And they say we got some bad news, sir
No one’s laughing at God
When there’s a famine or fire or flood

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke, or
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they’re ‘bout to choke

What's wrong with you?

There are a lot of things that are wrong with me. Tons actually.

I'm not social. I have enormous thighs. I'm not an enthusiastic (aspiring) journalist. I cry too easily. I'm cheap. I'm boring. The list goes on forever. And this have become very apparent while job-hunting.

I'm inexperienced. I'm not time flexible. I have no network. I'm a foreigner. Why would anyone pick me over someone else. Sometimes I feel like a hopeless case.

We all are experts in finding faults in ourselves, aren't we? Whether it's looks or capabilities, there's always something we wish we were or had. But believe it or not there are actually tons of good points as well. They might be harder to realize, well of course, but those are the things that you should embrace and strengthen. Because in the end that's who you are.

I have to believe someday, someone is going to recognize my good sides and give me a chance.

Goodnight,
Tiffany

Why Tiffany, why?



In the end...

Today was one of those days I ponder why I ever put myself in this crazy situation. Why Tiffany, why?!

It's only the end of the 2nd week of school (ain't it crazy, it's just the freakin 2nd week!) and I can feel the coursework related stress-anxiety-panic creeping up on me already. I've got loads of work and no existing time to do them.

It messes your mind up. I'm serious, it's psycholocigal exhausting, good enough to make anyone insane.

Isn't it funny how I literally fight for survival to manage all my school work while I got friends who I don't know....chills out as au-pair in New York or work 5 days a week in a cinema. Isn't it comical how deep in (shit) loans I'm in already when I got friends who work and...what? GET money. Isn't it comical how I pay a rent that's basically higher than my parent's while I got friends who....I don't know LIVE FOR FREE?! Why do I sit in all those Fridays and Saturdays evening to study when there are people who actually live?

Do you see what I mean? It's like people can take the highway while I was determined to take the crocked, small, stinky backstreet.

Funny is it not?

But the important question is: Why do I let it happen to me?

You know sometimes, just sometimes I look out my window and see people minding their own business and imagen how it would be if I just let everything go.

Yours sincerely,
Tiffany.

Oh, Zachary

So me and my friend saw The Life and Death of Charlie St. Cloud, using Orange Wednesday and all (the ticket was £2.80, freakin' £2.80!).

For me it felt as if I knew everything about this movie already, having gone to the premiere and watched the trailer 9576 times on repeat on the big screen there. But as a steadfast Efron supporter (note support-er!) I wouldn't think for one second of not seeing the movie.
All in all we see Efron in a deeper and mature role as Charlie St Cloud, the golden sailor boy with his whole future planned out (hello Stanford yo!). However, his whole world falls over board when he gets into a car accident killing his younger brother, Sam. As a sign of his incapability of forgiving himself he sees Sam (in spirit-memory shape). Charlie makes a promise to see him every day at sunset.

I knew this was a major bawl movie (I cried just seeing the trailer for the 1st time, ok?!) so I was warned and prepared..or so I thought. Although Zac does the happy, dancing teen role so well I must say he almost does the broken, remorseful brother even better. It was heartbreaking really.

But I have to say other than the gripping beginning there wasn't much to the movie. It was bland and fairly predictable. The only thing that kept the movie somehow interesting was the guessing game of whether Charlie really was seeing his brother or if he was a complete nutjob.
Apart from Zac I also thought Augustus Prew did a really good job as Charlie's wacky British slash Australian friend.

Cheers,
Tiffany Phan

One Day More

Click for more ;)

Daaang. but I'm allowed to look at you right.?

The Tube story

"Please stand back as train is approaching"
She boards the train with no expectations.
He is sitting there, him too with no expecations.
A quarter of a second both of their glances meet. A quarter of a second is all it takes.
The air becomes electric.
"The next stop is Baker Street, change here for...."
All the wishful thinking in the world can't change the fact.
Only the faint reminiscence of that boy on the train is the evidence of what have been.
As they will fade, nobody will ever know what could have been.

Have you ever thought of that?

In Mizery

Nick is too dreamy.

I don't know if it was the Yoga class earlier today (I took Yoga!) that made me this happy and calm or if it's the Les Miz songs I keep having on repeat.

My first school week is basically over and I'm stressed out to my toes already. I have a zillion of coursework all basically due at the same time. It's all so badly planned I could cry. But anyway it's the 2nd year right, I have to step up my game (although I really was at the top of my game last year).

So in order not to get stress rashes again I think I'll continue with the yoga. It's £40 a year, it's not that bad right?

Cheers,
Tiffany

the Journalism boys

The first day back in school is always a big deal. Even though you try to be all casual and pretend not to care, you do. You're wearing that new outfit, nice but not too nice, you carefully do your hair, chooses shoes with great considerartion, you know the whole bibbitybobityboo. And so it was for me today, I daresay I was even a little bit more jumped up since my first lesson was Fashion forecasting.

People outdressing each other and glaring at each other rather than focusing in class. That's my everyday, guys, how sad it may be. And I could see all of their familiar glances, not familiar on the other hand was the teacher. At first was insanely happy to not have our teacher from last year (and I quote, who was the devil who wished he was in Prada) but as the lecture when on I started to have mixed feelings about the new teacher. He was as far from fashion as you could come. I mean he spelled Chanel with 2 n's for god sake. But I will not complain, at least he's good at teaching.

But after all the silly giggling from the back row and judging glares I was actually relieved to go to my Media Law and Ethics class. I had stepped one foot into the room and I hear "Hello Tiffany!", well well well isn'tmy journalism teacher from my 1st semester. I was like, how the hell do you remember me? XD Another pleasant surprise, who's not sitting there in a black cardigan but.... the Jesse McCartney guy. I had a weird feeling that this module was going to nice already. ;) But jokes aside, when I'm in my journalism classes it's like I'm in a different world. Here people are actually.......intelligent. They know stuff that makes me feel stupid and they contribute to the class. This is why I could never change my course to only fashion marketing. Although I'm not too keen on journalism in general, I need these real classes, not to mention there are actually boys there. XD

The journey back didn't went well at all. As a punishment for the easy journey in the morning, the Overground trains decided not to run. What. The. Hell. So I had to take the bus, which were already packed as it was and since there are not buses going anywhere near where I live, I had to change like a zillion times. So after not an hour, but TWO hours I was home. It was after 6pm. Tube strikes fml.

Otherwise I still haven't been able to get the Les Miserables songs out of my head (I woke up to Drink With Me) and I'm not planning to do it either. :P (currently listening to A Little Fall Of Rain)

Ciao,
Tiffany

Enlightened at last

I'm Miserablesized, I'm sitting in my Les Mis t-shirt and singing along to On My Own. I'm serious.

Let me just firstly say, the O2 arena is ENORMOUS! I mean I thought Wembley Arena was big but this was like thrice the size. So my seat was basically at the very top just at the side of the scene. So basically I was sitting above the scene, so I saw the whole scene, the orchestra (I did feel jealous), the choir and so on.

So beside me I got these 2 young girls both wearing a Les Mis t-shirt, the more I heard talk talking the more I felt as a fraud. Why? They were talking about the actors and who they thought were a better Valjean/Cosette etc and how they loved this song and that song. While I knew NONE of the actors and have basically only listened to the songs which Marius is in. I felt like the biggest fraud, because I was there for one purpose and one purpose only, Nicholas Jerry Jonas.

I've never seen the musical and that says a lot, I could bet £1000 that there were people in there that had seen it 5 times or more. So even if I wanted to socialize with the girls beside me I couldn't, one word and my cover would have been blown.

The concert started (not on time which they were very strict about) and it very much like the 10th anniversary with the micstands and the actors coming and going singing the songs. These people are really something else, they're on a whole different level of singing. They are 10 times better than any artist with an album, their voices are truly amazing. Not mentioning the kids, they are just mindblowing. Especially the boy playing Gavroche, he was just sick.

After the excitement attack during the first 2 minutes Nick appeared I could honestly sthought he was really good. But obviously he's not as strong as a singer as the others, but he do have a really nice voice and it was wonderful to watch how into his character he was (makes me even angrier that I couldn't see him in the musical).

What I find refreshing is the really powerful songs to the dark and heavy story. It's gripping and beautiful to watch. The Eponine-Marius relationship is so sad I can actually start cry right here right now. It's official I'm enlightened at last.

(PS. I strongly recommend Red & Black and Empty Chairs At Empty Tables)

Sincerely yours,
Tiffany