The C word

Is it just me,or do you suddenly become solemn, slightly depressed and freakishly pressured whenever someone even mention words like "work experience", "internship", "future" or simply "it'll-look-good-on-your-CV"?

For a while there I was so happy because I thought I had overcome all of that. Obviously I haven't since I'm almost shaking my leg off in distress just by the fact that I'm writing about it.

It feels like I'm jeopordaizing my own employability by focusing on my school work. Because the real world demands a student that can balance: school, a part-time job, a social life, down time and a freaking internship. We all need to be super students or else you're doomed the second you step out of university with ONLY your degree in your rucksack.

I'm just not good enough. I can pretend that I don't do schoolwork 90% of my waking hours, but actually I am. I'm sorry, I'm SORRY that I need all of that time to study. I'm f*cking SORRY ok! The other 9% I cook, eat, go to the bathroom, get to school and get back from school. The remaining 1% is my downtime when I do stuff like Tumblr, talk to my parents, Tweet and read news. I've gotten so pressured that I feel like I need to contribute SOMETHING to my future even in my downtime, like freshen up my covering letter, blog, tweet, learn adobe indesign, look for internships etc.

It's like your whole life has to revolve around preparing for your future and being good at school is just not good enough.

I'm tired. I'm f*cking tired but it never ends.

Goodnight for now,
Tiffany