Let's not do that again

As I write this it's been exactly 25 days since the worst week of my life started. I study a lot, I admit that, but I have never ever studied that much during a week's time that I did that week. For seven days I studied from 10am to 3am (4am for two days). I have never drunk that much coffee and Red Bull in my entire life.

Let me roll some numbers for you. Out of the168 hours during the week, I studied for approx. 105 hours, slept for 42, ate for 21, spoke to people for 1 and listened to Korean music for 120 (my last.fm ain't nice now).

I think the highlight of the week was when I was lying on the floor at 2am in the morning singing my hearts to a sad Korean RnB song not knowing any of the words in the lyrics. It was an unforgettable moment, I can tell you that.

To be honest though, I look back at that week now and almost boast about it, but it genuinely was a nightmare I hope I'll never have to go through again. It was f-cking brutal. The funny thing is, my coursework and exam turned out to be so crap it probably wasn't even worth it.

Isn't life wonderful?

New year promises no sleep

Happy New Year!

First of all I'd like to wish everyone a happy new year and may your new year be a lot more promising than mine. (Virtual 90 degree bow)

There are two reasons as to why my blog's been dead ever since I came to Sweden:

1. My exam was moved forth one week and completely destroyed my schedule. So now I've got two assignments, one of which I've practically haven't started, and an exam for the 16th. I'm thrilled to bits and f-cking pieces! (These tears coming down my face are happy tears I swear)

2. Koreans. And worst of all: Koreans and YouTube.

So as it looks like now, I'll either have to screw the exam preparations and focus on my assignments or not sleep for one week and try to fit in all of it.

Fun times ahead. Fun times.

Off mode

The first week back at Uni is almost over (only have the longest day to look forward to tomorrow) and what's the verdict? I have none because I've been too busy studying. Really, I've been studying everyday of this week. To be honest it was a pretty difficult to get back to the studying again (euphemisn for trying to make myself stop being on Tumblr 12hrs a day), but I did what I have to do.

So I was writing a review of the 25th Anniversary concert of Phantom of The Opera from Sunday. You know the glacial pace I work on these things but my plan was to have it done by Tuesday. But then out of nowhere my Reporting and Journalism teacher just threw us out on the street to find a story, write it and send to him before the end of the day. So that totally screwed up my plan, and with the review being outdated now, should I even bother?

The first rant of the summer

I know I know. I've been back home for 4 days and still haven't found "time" to blog. I'm just that good of a blogger.

Being home is good. Sweden is surprisingly warm which is amazing. I've been eating loads, in this pace I'd gain 20 kg by the end of the summer (so I need to watch it). Met a friend on Saturday talked for 9 hours -not kidding. I've also been driving again. After a whole year away from the wheel it was quite scary going back (forgetting which pedal is which is not really ideal). But after a 2 hour drive with my dad today it all came back and I even drove all the way from Fosie industri område back to our place (which includes 1 trafficlight and 3 roundabouts). It's sad but I'm actually boasting.

But of course everything hasn't been smooth sailing, because that wouldn't be my life. It comes as a no surprise that it's a Uni related. Yesterday evening, I got an email from my Undergraduate office, saying I had to retake an exam since I missed it. Immediate readtion: W H A T  T H E  F * C K! Wasn't it awful enough having forced me to sit through that horrible exam? Now they're saying I didn't take it?!

At this stage, I thought my Uni couldn't surprise me anymore (really they've done practically everything I thought a University shouldn't do), but obviously I was wrong. How could I show them my attendence slip when it's in London? How can I show them anything when I'm in Sweden for that matter? Will I have to take a resit exam? Will I have to fly back to London to sort it out? Imagine those thoughts plus loads of other about the awesome administration at my Uni, running through my brain 1000 miles/sec. I emailed them back, struggling to refrain from writing the f-word and called them in the morning. Apparently, it was an automatic email sent out to some students and I quote "doesn't apply to you". Well then why did you f*cking send it to me in the first place?!

I don't know when my uni will stop giving me unnecessary heartattacks, but I guess I just have to be prepared for whatever whenever.

Sincerely,
Tiffany

2nd year: over and done

Finished with my 2nd year and totally alive. Might've been obvious for you, but it certainly wasn't for me 28 days ago.

I'M DONE! DONE! DONE!

So what have I been up to these past 3 days of utter freedom? My cousin from Paris/Lincoln is visiting me and we've been here and there; eating, shopping, seeing Les Mis (2nd time in less than 2 months, effyeah), seeing Pirates of the Caribbean 4. Good stuff, good stuff (apart from Pirates 4 which is a pathetic excuse for a movie and you bet there's a review coming up).

2 weeks of interning at Craft Central is looking ahead and then 4 sweet months in Sweden. It's going to be a lovely (but skint) summer and I have a looooong list of stuff I'm planning to do, including watching another ton of movies, learning InDesign, take another ton of photos, bike around and read books. Try not to be jealous of my glamorous life. I wouldn't want to change it for anything else, I need the summer to relax after I've melted off my brain cramming in consumer psychology and churn out essays, articles and relfective logs these past 2 months.

Toodles,
Tiffany

Welcome to 26 days of hell

1st of May today. Which means exam prime time is upon me. I have 1 exam, 1 horrible (horrible, HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE) 2000 word article, a 1500 word Fashion buying essay, a 2 minute article pitch to film and a 1,500 portfolio of articles and reflective shit.

My last coursework submission date will be the 27th May. Hey, only 26 days left, you may think. But it's 26 unimaginably horrid and challenging days, which are so terrifying that 27th of May doesn't exsist in my mind right now. I can't see the light of the tunnel. These upcoming 26 days will without a doubt be the most difficult days of my life, as far as my diary says anyway. It's so packed I had to schedule breathing only every other day, well not really but you get the idea.

If I ever survive this, I will let you know, if not, I love you all.

Welcome to 26 days of hell.

With some luck, I'll see you on the other side
Yours truly,
Tiffany

twentyone

The past couple of weeks have been insanely busy with coursework, internship, managing my subediting team et cetera et cetera. This Wednesay possibly saw the most intense 4 hours in my life, racing through dozens of articles, editing out things, adding links, uploading pictures. It was a journalistic madness. I had to even be forced to go to the bathroom before I actually went. But it's good fun, I enjoy it. I'm actually in denial of actually how much I enjoy it. You could at least have a look at our website, after those 4 hours of blood, sweat and tears. Hollowayexpress.co.uk

However in the end I pulled through and now with only one really short presentation left before Easter break I can finally have some down time. Thank god. Not to mention it's my birthday tomorrow. My first ever birthday being away from home (and surely not the last).

How can I turn 21? It should be illegal, TWENTY ONE?! I still haven't accepted that I'm 20! Time please! XD Anyway, the positive side of it all is that for the occassion I'm going to treat myself a iPhone 4. Yup, tech snob that I will be. Trying to sort out the micro SIM and everything right now, quite a process actually.

So yeah, what I need to do know is come to terms that tomorrow I'll be...2.....1? Goodness, bless me! XD

Toodles,
Tiffany

That's Miss Production Editor for you

So I've got some good news. (Wow, once in 1000 years right?) I got the position I applied for, in our roleplay interview/ job thing in Journalism & Employability. I'm the production editor of the Holloway Express every other week.

I'm actually not quite sure why I'm so excited about it because after all it's just a fake job. Maybe it's because the role sounds so amazingly grande or that I beat at least one guy for the position (sorry, bro). So from next week on I'll be busy deploying my subeditors to edit copies, attend editorial meetings, checking every page before publication and make sure everyone meet the deadline.

Gosh, I do love the sound of that. Wow, that sound really pretentious but whatever, a girl has the right to boast once in a while. ;)

Sincerely,
Tiffany

Very hipster stuff



Runway show at Pure Spirit

 I've started my new term now, and with a new term comes new burden. So far I've stuck to my "get things done as soon as possible" strategy (which has unfortuantely failed previously), I could even squeezedin some normal life activities such as shopping, going to the museum and yoga. I also went to the fashion trade fair "Pure" (yes very hipster stuff), which we have to visit as a part of our new coursework.

Other than being completely awkward and clueless of what to do essentially, I have to say it was really interesting. I've never been to a fashion trade fair before but it was basically like any fair with people showcasing their products and look for buyers. Obviously, the place was swarmed with all sorts of stylish people (imagine chic mom with an even ridiculously chic son) knowing exactly what they were doing, which didn't make me feel more awkward or clueless...at all.

However, for me it was really interesting to browse (on a personal level) through emerging trends but also (on a educational level) to see how this specific side of fashion buying works.

Goodnight y'all,
Tiffany

A lesson well learned

The last weekend have really been a complete wreckage but ironically, enlighting at the same time.

I was facebook messaging a classmate on saturday afternoon, asking her about this essay we have for the class. The life defining moment came when she said: Wait I'm confused, didn't you submit it yesterday? I don't think my heart have pounded so fast and hard in my whole life. In cold sweat I rushed into my module webpage to check the deadline for my essay. The deadline was indeed yesterday.

...........................................................

For those few centiseconds the time actually stood still. Completely dazed I tried to understand that it was a fact. That I have not been able to meet a coursework deadline. Nothing int he world could change that fact.

You may ask, what's the big deal? The big deal is, in reality, that how well I may have done on the essay I will only get a D. But that was not the deal for me at that moment, I had screwed up and screwed up big, that was the big deal.

If my parents haven't calmed me down I might have done soemthing drastic or faint. They made me realize that it wasn't the end of the world, because it literally felt like that. Life is long and something like missing a coursework deadline will not define your life. When you make a mistake you'll learn from it and be more careful the next time.

School, education and jobs aren't everything. The truth is that there are infinitely more important things in life. Obvious for you maybe but not everyone feels the same, especially not if you're a psychopath like me. We just have to be reminded every now and then that's all.

Yours truly,
Tiffany

The C word

Is it just me,or do you suddenly become solemn, slightly depressed and freakishly pressured whenever someone even mention words like "work experience", "internship", "future" or simply "it'll-look-good-on-your-CV"?

For a while there I was so happy because I thought I had overcome all of that. Obviously I haven't since I'm almost shaking my leg off in distress just by the fact that I'm writing about it.

It feels like I'm jeopordaizing my own employability by focusing on my school work. Because the real world demands a student that can balance: school, a part-time job, a social life, down time and a freaking internship. We all need to be super students or else you're doomed the second you step out of university with ONLY your degree in your rucksack.

I'm just not good enough. I can pretend that I don't do schoolwork 90% of my waking hours, but actually I am. I'm sorry, I'm SORRY that I need all of that time to study. I'm f*cking SORRY ok! The other 9% I cook, eat, go to the bathroom, get to school and get back from school. The remaining 1% is my downtime when I do stuff like Tumblr, talk to my parents, Tweet and read news. I've gotten so pressured that I feel like I need to contribute SOMETHING to my future even in my downtime, like freshen up my covering letter, blog, tweet, learn adobe indesign, look for internships etc.

It's like your whole life has to revolve around preparing for your future and being good at school is just not good enough.

I'm tired. I'm f*cking tired but it never ends.

Goodnight for now,
Tiffany

Why Tiffany, why?



In the end...

Today was one of those days I ponder why I ever put myself in this crazy situation. Why Tiffany, why?!

It's only the end of the 2nd week of school (ain't it crazy, it's just the freakin 2nd week!) and I can feel the coursework related stress-anxiety-panic creeping up on me already. I've got loads of work and no existing time to do them.

It messes your mind up. I'm serious, it's psycholocigal exhausting, good enough to make anyone insane.

Isn't it funny how I literally fight for survival to manage all my school work while I got friends who I don't know....chills out as au-pair in New York or work 5 days a week in a cinema. Isn't it comical how deep in (shit) loans I'm in already when I got friends who work and...what? GET money. Isn't it comical how I pay a rent that's basically higher than my parent's while I got friends who....I don't know LIVE FOR FREE?! Why do I sit in all those Fridays and Saturdays evening to study when there are people who actually live?

Do you see what I mean? It's like people can take the highway while I was determined to take the crocked, small, stinky backstreet.

Funny is it not?

But the important question is: Why do I let it happen to me?

You know sometimes, just sometimes I look out my window and see people minding their own business and imagen how it would be if I just let everything go.

Yours sincerely,
Tiffany.

the Journalism boys

The first day back in school is always a big deal. Even though you try to be all casual and pretend not to care, you do. You're wearing that new outfit, nice but not too nice, you carefully do your hair, chooses shoes with great considerartion, you know the whole bibbitybobityboo. And so it was for me today, I daresay I was even a little bit more jumped up since my first lesson was Fashion forecasting.

People outdressing each other and glaring at each other rather than focusing in class. That's my everyday, guys, how sad it may be. And I could see all of their familiar glances, not familiar on the other hand was the teacher. At first was insanely happy to not have our teacher from last year (and I quote, who was the devil who wished he was in Prada) but as the lecture when on I started to have mixed feelings about the new teacher. He was as far from fashion as you could come. I mean he spelled Chanel with 2 n's for god sake. But I will not complain, at least he's good at teaching.

But after all the silly giggling from the back row and judging glares I was actually relieved to go to my Media Law and Ethics class. I had stepped one foot into the room and I hear "Hello Tiffany!", well well well isn'tmy journalism teacher from my 1st semester. I was like, how the hell do you remember me? XD Another pleasant surprise, who's not sitting there in a black cardigan but.... the Jesse McCartney guy. I had a weird feeling that this module was going to nice already. ;) But jokes aside, when I'm in my journalism classes it's like I'm in a different world. Here people are actually.......intelligent. They know stuff that makes me feel stupid and they contribute to the class. This is why I could never change my course to only fashion marketing. Although I'm not too keen on journalism in general, I need these real classes, not to mention there are actually boys there. XD

The journey back didn't went well at all. As a punishment for the easy journey in the morning, the Overground trains decided not to run. What. The. Hell. So I had to take the bus, which were already packed as it was and since there are not buses going anywhere near where I live, I had to change like a zillion times. So after not an hour, but TWO hours I was home. It was after 6pm. Tube strikes fml.

Otherwise I still haven't been able to get the Les Miserables songs out of my head (I woke up to Drink With Me) and I'm not planning to do it either. :P (currently listening to A Little Fall Of Rain)

Ciao,
Tiffany