I have a dissertation to write but I made this instead.

10 ways to spot a tourist in London

People go to London. I get that.  We got Big Ben. I get that. We got a K-pop section at HMV. I get that. Still, the sheer volume of tourists that are walking down these already-crammed London streets is mind boggling. In fact tourists have become so common in my daily life that I've learnt how to spot them miles away (I take boring tube rides).

So why won't I share some of that tourist spotting knowledge of mine to anyone who may want to avoid them for any weird reason - especially this summer.

A person is probably a tourist if he or she is:

1. Carrying around a (any kind of) book that says London in the front (or Londres, Londra, ロンドン etc)

2. Travelling in a pack of more than 4 people in the same age (teenagers and pensioners are dead give aways - except for Chinese people because they might just some rich men off spring studying at UCL)

3. Carrying a plastic/paper bag from any of these places: Natural History Museum (or any museum except for the artsy ones because half of them might just be hipsters), Disney store or M&M world

4. Overdressed, especially those with a down jacket, scarves and gloves. (I tell you no real Londoner owns a down jacket)

5. Carrying a London tube map

6. Having their picture taken (together with someone else is a give away) in a place where they're clearly obstructing other pedestrians.

7. Carrying a paper travel ticket and isn't wearing a suit or any other formal clothing.

8. Carrying a large plastic/paper bag from any of these places: Primark, HMV or Whittard of Chelsea.

9. Walking down Oxford Street slowly.

10. Within 5 metre radius of Buckingham Palace

(NB: These applies to any location in London, except for Oxford Street where there's a 80% chance that a person is a tourist)

Happy tourist spotting!